i stopped reading Theroux’s “Dark Star Safari” months ago when i realized i was actually coming to Africa and might want something to read while i was here. picked up again today where i left off…

he is still on his way from Cairo to Cape Town overland and has made it to Kenya thus far. his writing illustrates a lot of his intimate encounters with locals and a mixture of his and their personal opinions on the state of Africa’s people, politics, and progress. most of his thoughts are pessimistic. he certainly doesn’t speak highly of the white aid workers bustling through cities in their bright white Land Rovers.

i have to say that for the most part, i agree with his pessimism of foreign aid organizations. real African growth and progress probably has to come from its’ own people. short-term solutions planned by foreign people with foreign policies, using foreign tools, has always seemed so Band-Aid to me.

and yet, it’s the reason i’m here. i can’t deny that i hope to do some good at the local clinics, but i’m not delusional enough to think i’m helping build a solid change for the future. i’ll be weighing babies, and taking blood pressures, and helping with immunization programs, but how will that help the state of Zambia’s healthcare in the long-term? i don’t have money to fund charities. i only have my time to give. Africa needs top-level changes in their government and political organization to improve national healthcare options.

when i write it out that way, i have no choice but to admit i’m here as a “foreign aid worker” for selfish reasons. i don’t doubt the things i see and do will affect me as a person and change me in the long-term ways i can’t offer in return. my levels of empathy, compassion, and awareness will grow in leaps and bounds over the next month. i feel good about donating my time and energy for free to a country that couldn’t afford to pay me if they wanted to. in a way, my personality is profiting off this poor country.

but does that mean my time and energy is any less welcome? i certainly hope not. i don’t speak or act like i’m here for selfish reasons. neither do any of the girls in the house here on the same project. we are helping in schools and clinics and on farms with and for people. in return for our tourist dollars, we take home photos and memories and more mature personalities. but we have to realize we leave behind next to nothing. our actions don’t last beyond today. even if African Impact carries on as an organization for many years, the ability of our efforts to change political or government ideals and organization is less than nothing.

i am an adamant believer that real African growth and progress must come from its’ own people. yet, there is one small chance that our actions today will have long-term effects and positive consequences… these chances are with the children. it is hopeful to believe that a small child we immunize in the clinic will grow up healthy and strong and attend a school and learn to read and write and will use his health and education to bring about changes in his country that help it to prosper instead of just persevere.

i am hopeful.

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