i bought the local paper today for 3,000 kwachas. according to the front and back pages it is “The paper that digs deeper.” “Zambia’s leading newspaper” claims that “While others imitate, we originate.”
the front page has a photo of President Mwanawasa buying detergent paste to mark the “Keep Zambia Clean” campaign. he is a round man with a round head in a purple shirt with a ring on his right hand. i recognize his face from the framed photo hung in most of the shops and all of the money changing places. a woman in a blue construction hat stands next to him and there is an array of photographers behind them.
today’s headline is: I WANTED TO EMBARRASS LEVY — SATA. Michael Sata is the Patriotic Front president and Levy Mwanawasa is the current president. according to the article, Sata was denied his chance because he was not allowed to give a vote of thanks during the launch of the Zambia Centre for Inter-party Dialogue. next to the article is a 1/4 page ad in yellow and red for ShopRite. they have extended their trading hours for this coming holiday weekend.
inside, i am informed that my “dream car has arrived!!” it’s the 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe !! on the same page, an ad for Dettol germicide soap tells me that there are 300,000 germs on my hands. i get up and wash the newspaper ink off with a bar i have in the bathroom.
the next few pages are filled with HOME NEWS involving leaders with names i can’t pronounce and paragraphs formatted in a slightly strange version of English. i find it hard to follow and notice a lot of paragraphs start with the word “And”. one of the only familiar stories is that of the recent London judgment regarding former president Chiluba’s fraudulent activity. he has been ordered to pay recoveries, interests, and costs, but applied to have the judgment set aside.
in Kabwe, health workers are going on strike and police have arrested a councillor for theft. in Petauke, the Catholic Commission for Justice Development and Peace has disbursed K1.1 billion to 27 community projects.
in BUSINESS NEWS, June’s inflation rate has decreased by 0.7 points to 11.1% and the Mineworkers Union of Zambia urge the government to amend the labour act. US oil stockpiles are apparently increasing and the Swedish state will review the OMX-Nasdaq deal. CIA’s plot to kill Fidel is detailed and Laura Bush targets malaria in Africa. oh, and Sudan’s presidential aide dies in a car accident.
in the COMMENT section, a rather intelligent article pokes satirical fun at the government’s decision to give the lecturer’s a raise — by taking the money from the students. underneath that, the question “Who is Gordon Brown?” and how he will acquire legitimacy as Britain’s new leader is examined in detail.
a CLASSIFIED section is filled with a couple dozen unsmiling colour photos wishing Happy Birthday and an advertisement for Kachema Meat Supplies: See!!! Buy!!! Fry!!! with a drawing of sheep underneath. i can only think of Smell!!!
after the classifieds comes a huge pull-out section almost as thick as the rest of the paper. The Farmers Post starts with colour advertisements for tractors and ends with “How to keep quails: A personal experience”.
Dear Auntie Edith and a few letters to the editor kick off the LIFESTYLE section. Beyonce and Mo’Nique perform at the 7th annual BET Awards.
the paper ends with a SPORTS section covering everything from Venus on the tennis court to Zambian golfers at a Kenya tourney to Esther Phiri vowing to pound Radostinea Valcheva in an upcoming boxing match.
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