jenniferhawke.com

dear Nevis,

so it seems you might have been in a bit of a bad mood this month. a lot of grey skies with some pretty cool temper tantrums. that mid-month storm was particularly awesome to wake up to in the middle of the night and i had a blast watching planes land amid all of the lightning. not sure the puppies like the thunder very much, but i’ll bet it’s good “character building”.

and now hurricane season is “officially” over. i’m not sure if Mother Nature has the date marked in her day planner, but i hope the rest of the year is a little less humid and a little more sunny. cheer up, wouldja? people on their snowbird holidays are going to start showing up any day now and you want to be a good sunny Caribbean host.

i’ve had a couple people ask me if i’m still getting up at 4am every day. and the answer is “yes, i’m still mildly insane.” last month i started riding to school earlier too. i am amazed at the temperature difference between 6am (when the sun is barely yawning over your horizon) and 7am (when you’ve tilted enough with the Earth to get us ample vitamin D for the day). it’s likely only a small change in temperature, but those wee degrees seem to really matter when you’re huffing humid air up a hill into the warm wind.

my landlady kindly delivered a most wonderful set of patio furniture early in the month and i’ve got a new favourite hobby: watching the clouds float by and the planes bounce in while drinking my morning coffee. or studying. or wrasslin’ with the pups. or basking in the sunset. or listening to the rain drum on the porch roof. i don’t have a TV and wouldn’t want to change the channel out my front door for anything else in the world right now! this 180o+ view of ocean and sky is better than the highest-definition plasma screen money can buy.

this month i also got a bicycle helmet from my boyfriend back home who is worried about your crazy drivers. every day i pair it with the flashy-fancy reflective neon sash that he sent in a previous care package and feel safe with a capital “S”. one of the professors on campus said that your Newcastle police officers have noticed me whizzing by every day and congratulate me on my safety-ness. i pass along all of the credit to the people that take better care of (and worry more about) me than i do. so glad i have such a wonderful boyfriend to watch out for my irresponsible butt.

you’re a great island for cycling, Nevis. i am actually sort of looking forward to doing the whole circuit some day. maybe over Christmas holidays. the only question is: do i attempt it before or after doing the Mount Nevis summit?

well, i better sign off. stay outta trouble and pass along my hugs and hellos to the family.

bring on November… may the wind always help me uphill and the puppies continue to remain flea-free.

Jonathan is dressing up like the colonel’s favourite meal again this year and going trick-or-treating with his nephew. i plan to spend the afternoon eating lots of mini-sized treats while studying.

i know we have candy-grams being delivered on campus today, but i’m curious if kids on Nevis do the trick-or-treat thing. or if they recognize Halloween at all on the island. guess i’ll find out and get back to you!

… when a picture is worth a thousand words.

… still don’t feel much like writing about school. and honestly, i don’t know what i would say. i get up and study. i eat and study and eat again. then i study some more and go to sleep. who wants to read about that? i mean, i find it rather boring and it’s my blissful life path that gets me out of bed with a big grin on my silly face every morning!

and yet, there is one Major Development that i should make note of because it is going to make (or break) this block from the previous two: i’m getting better at scheduling time for myself.

balance! i hear it’s a Good Thing! tomorrow i might even be leaving my house to (*GASP*) socialize with classmates in a study group sort of situation. we’ll see how that goes. i think my social skills are a little rusty from all the time i’ve spent meditating in my self-imposed monastery of medicine.

Jonathan went to visit his family in Montreal this week. he left today. and i guess it’s technically closer, but for some reason feels farther away…

today’s photo is (i’m pretty sure) the very first Jennifer and Jonathan photo in existence. it was taken at a wedding in July 2005. in hindsight, his expression was a pretty accurate descriptor of his attitude toward commitment at the time. hahaha.

if it’s a summer day
not a cloud in sight
then tell me why
it feels like it might
rain
on
me.
~ Coconut Records: “Back to You”

October 25th, 2006 was our first day of snow(!) in Prince George.

usually when i announce i’m going to be away from the interweb (and please leave a message after the beep), i immediately think of a zillion things to write about.

in the meantime, just trying to re-group, re-focus, and re-inflate this stupid flat tire.

see you soon.

why do articles like this annoy me so much?

as doctors-in-training, are we really so naive to believe that spending 6 weeks petitioning an organization that has been around for 60 years would be productive use of our medical training? and if UNICEF is doing such a good job of abolishing child hunger and malnutrition in Africa, then why is there still so much child hunger and malnutrition in Africa??

i have vented about this before. i guess i won’t get into it again, but this month’s Canadian Medical Association Journal happens to have a slew of articles on global health and poverty. and many of you know i have rather strong feelings on the topic of foreign aid.

this quote is from another article in the same issue, just a little further up the Table of Contents:

In Ottawa in 2006, 1163 children and 9010 people spent time in a shelter for the homeless. This is an increase from 8664 people only 2 years before. In addition to this substantial increase, the face of homelessness has changed from single adult male alcoholics to adolescents, single mothers, underemployed people, elderly people and recent immigrants.

how many homeless people are there in your community? and why doesn’t global health ever seem to start in our own backyard?

true Monday in every stereotypically negative sense of the word. thank goodness i get to start fresh again tomorrow. in the meantime, let’s just look at a happy puppy tummy instead. ; D

700am – get up (coffee, feed/wrassle with pups)
the window above my headboard faces east and i get bright sunshine as soon as it’s available. i love it. and 7am may sound early, but that’s sleeping in for three whole hours compared to the rest of the week. this morning the pups and i played with paper towel tubes while i cleaned out their ears with a little apple cider vinegar and warm water.

730am – breakfast (cereal, multi-vitamin & email)
i am a breakfast person. i love cereal. on school days, i’ll often have two bowls (or one cereal, one oatmeal) before i hop on the bike. we also know i love coffee and right about now is when i’ll have a second cup.

800am – anatomy (pelvis, perineum, lower limb)
i like to start and end my day with anatomy because it is so heavy on the memorization. so for the first 2 hours on a Sunday, you’ll find me comparing and contrasting in-class PowerPoint presentations with Gray’s Anatomy and Netter’s information. i have wonderful little flashcards that i scribble all over and use to jog my retention later. this morning i reviewed the pelvis and perineum stuff from last week and read ahead for next week’s lower limb lectures.

10am – 30 minute break
now is when i do things like start writing this post. or quickly flip through email. or have another bowl of cereal. or run around the yard with the dogs. this morning i also tested a couple of internet-suggested frog repellent techniques. will post more info if they work tonight (the chirping siren usually starts shortly after dark). i also spent 15 mins uploading a couple of videos from Zambia to YouTube and editing the one from today of Lulu and Fonzie playing.

1030am – histology (review block 1 & 2)
my weekend schedule usually alternates 2 hours of anatomy with 2 hours of histology and a 30 minute break in-between. sometimes i’ll work straight through for 4 hours and put those two 30 minute breaks together so i have a whole hour. sometimes i’ll stop earlier and work longer later. you get the picture. it’s flexible. i like having a schedule, but the exact details aren’t written in stone. this morning i reviewed material from block 1 & 2.

1230am – another 30 minute break
time to run to the corner store. or throw in a load of laundry. or (more likely) have a 20 minute nap. today i spent the entire time wrestling with a hand-pump that i apparently no longer know how to use because it seems to be taking more air OUT of my stupid tire than putting in.

1pm – embryology (review block 1 & 2)
for every one hour in class, i like to spend two hours studying outside of class. embryo only meets three times a week (Tues, Wed, Thurs) for one hour. which means i should be spending 6 hours of my own time reviewing. 3 of those are usually on the mornings before those classes and the other 3 usually end up on the weekend. we didn’t have much new material last week, so today was mostly looking over old stuff again.

2pm – break
if i didn’t nap at 1230pm, then i’m definitely napping now. if i DID nap at 1230pm, i might have another. or i might hang that load of laundry to dry.

230pm – anatomy again
since i read ahead earlier today, i’ll use this time to review. i need to retain that block 1 and 2 stuff for the cumulative theory final. can’t blank out the brachial plexus just yet!

430pm – break
drive-by the inbox and check cell text messages to see if Jonathan is home for an iChat. more eating (second feeding for the pups) and drinking. sit outside and watch the palm trees wave at me. talk to the goats on their afternoon migration through my front yard. listen to the one lost and forlorn goat desperately calling for the others. space out. let my brain wander. and continue fighting with that stupid air pump.

500pm – histo again
since i reviewed earlier today, i’ll use this time to read ahead. tonight’s topics include classification of exocrine glands, structures of the oral cavity, and development of teeth. oh, whattheheck, i’ll read on to esophagus, stomach, and the intestinal tract too. in the evening, i usually study on the veranda until the sun goes down and the bugs come out.

700pm – break (dinner, finish writing this post)
tonight i’m having my specialty for dinner: giant bowl of spaghettini with jar of name-brand tomato sauce. add a dash of chili peppers and garlic – voila! there’s a mini frozen Twix bar for dessert and this evening’s drink special is tap water from the fridge. it’s so gourmet, i feel like i’m back in Yaletown.

730pm – anatomy
yup, again. tonight i plan to watch a dissection video for the anterior hip and thigh compartment. getting ready for my turn with the cadaver tomorrow afternoon.

800pm – r&r (distract those brain cells)
i don’t have a TV here and really don’t miss it. usually occasionally i’ll spend an hour in the evenings on weekends watching a downloaded show (ie: Grey’s or House) or reading a non-school book. the latter is very rare. often i’m so sick of reading, i just want to let my neurons go numb for 30 or 40 minutes. tonight i plan to catch up with the latest episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” — definitely no thinking required there!

900pm – flashcard review (set alarm, put in earplugs)
i’m careful about what i put in my brain right before i sleep. i would rather be consolidating information on the neurovascular supply of the anterior thigh compartment than details about George and Izzy. this is usually an hour of review and memory jogging done lying in bed. lights out around 10pm and looking forward to that 4am alarm.

… notice anything missing from my day?

i have time for coffee and laundry and a bit of blogging/email. i have time to upload photos, sit outside and play with the pups. i even have time to make dinner and watch a TV show. and there’s 10 1/2 hours of studying up there!

so what’s missing… ?

yup, you’re right. not a single minute for other people in real life. i am obviously social and friendly on campus, but… i like that the weekends belong to me. does this solitude bother me? not a bit. should it bother me? probably. will i start to worry about it when it’s too late? most likely.