A friend on Flickr recently “Favorite’d” a photo of Maddy. Suddenly I found myself back in the middle of the stream of photos and updates from when she was sick last September.

It broke my heart all over again.

It’s been over 9 months and I’m surprised at how raw my emotions still are when it comes to thinking about this beloved friend.

I guess I naively thought that the healing process would involve things getting better. Feeling better. But every time I think of her, it’s like I’m losing her all over again. Every time I find myself wondering where she is or imagining her enjoying a particular moment, the loss is brand new.

I don’t talk about her much. Not with Brandon or my mom or anyone. But I think about her a lot.

And I think I will always miss her.