jenniferhawke.com

You know it’s been awhile since you’ve posted when you have to re-login to Wordpress. I don’t think I’ve logged in since I installed it.

We made it to and from the Olympics in Vancouver in one piece. Mostly. I lost that awesome flag pin I’m wearing in the photo somewhere between here and that hockey game and that just sucks.

I have been sick for 2 weeks, but am alive. Mostly. I really thought I might die on the last descent into Oklahoma City. As the plane lowered, it felt like small gauge knitting needles were being stabbed through my skull into each and every sinus. It sorta sucked.

I only spread my germs to 7 Vancouver friends in 5 days. I have plenty more to write on the week we experienced Olympic history, but you can easily say there wasn’t enough time to do and see everything and everyone. It sorta sucked.

The dogs survived their week of boarding. Mostly. They both caught a wee case of the runs and are on parasite prophylaxis. More mild sucky-ness.

Okay, okay. A few things sucked. But the rest was totally and completely awesome. Including Brigette and Markus for putting us up and putting up with my germs all over their adorable new little house. What’s a good Thank You to friends like that? A year’s supply of Kleenex and NeoCitran?

I’ll be back soon. Probably before another 10 days pass, but I really can’t promise anything at this point. And I haven’t forgotten about the photo voting. That will start with the thrilling theme of flowers(!) next week.

Mom and Dad B flew home. Christmas decorations are coming down. 2010 is officially underway.

I wasn’t planning on doing one of those year-in-review reflection summary posts. But here it is.

2009
January – Brandon and I rang in the New Year in Saskatoon. It was blizzarding. His first visit to meet my family and experience Canadian winter.

February – Booked tickets for parents to come to Nevis.

March – MED 5 has a garage sale as we all prepare to leave the island.

April – Finish Basic Sciences. Say good-bye to Nevis. Initiated refund process with Travelocity. Whisked away on a surprise trip to Venice. Engaged!

May – Bought wedding dress at first stored I tried. Nightmare getting it fitted. Mornings at YMCA with mom. Days at Moose Jaw library with Step 1 material. Fought with Travelocity for refund.

June – Brandon surprises me by driving to Moose Jaw. More studying. Robin and Aruna visit the farm on their way to Ontario.

July – Finally receive refund from Travelocity. Step 1 is done! I passed!

August – Married! Rotations start in Oklahoma City. Deliver a couple of babies.

September – Husker season starts. Ob/Gyn is replaced by Family Medicine. Suh joins our little family.

October – Family Medicine (and H1N1 flu season) ends. Enjoy Internal Medicine.

November – Brandon cooks his first turkey for American Thanksgiving. The Roughriders make it to the Grey Cup.

December – Mom and Dad B come to visit! Brandon takes Step 1!

I can hardly predict how this year is going to top the awesomeness of last year… but here’s a sneak peek at what’s to come.

2010
January – Finish Internal Medicine rotation. Start Pediatrics. Apply for and arrange fall elective rotations.

February – Head to Vancouver for a few Olympic hockey games. Joyce takes Step 1!

March – Psychiatry rotation.

April – Take Step 2. Start 3-month Surgery rotation.

May – Maddy turns 7!

July – Roughriders are back in Mosaic Stadium.

August – 1st anniversary!

September – Husker season starts again!

December – Brandon finishes his MBA!

Today’s photo is of the Survivor Tree at the Oklahoma City Memorial for the Murrah Federal Building bombing. I absolutely adore this tree. I don’t know what it is. Maybe the old grainy black-and-white photos of it sitting in someone’s backyard decades ago. Or the way new growth sprouted the spring after the bombing when everyone needed to believe life would go on.

I am thankful we are more than just “surviving” this time in our life. We are soaring and celebrating. Life is awesome.

Just a little reminder that we love you forever, through thick and thin. Doing well or poorly or average on this exam doesn’t change a thing. Not even for a second.

We’re looking forward to relaxing with you during January while you take some much-deserved and highly-needed downtime. I know you’ll beat Lego Indiana Jones way before I do.

Now stop being so hard on yourself, relax, and go into that exam armed with the confidence that all these months of preparation have brought you. You know this stuff!

1 month and 1 week
2 months and 2 weeks
3 months and 3 weeks

“So, how is married life treating you?” Mom-in-law asked while we were shopping for shoes.

“I’m really happy,” I responded with a genuine ear-to-ear grin. “We have our little things*, but overall I know how lucky I am and I’m really happy where we’re at. Brandon works so hard at communication and evolving our relationship. It’s inspiring and a little intimidating, but I know we’re making forward progress.”

Our med school paths are no longer identical. Brandon spends the day at home and is excited to go out (for dinner, to a movie, whatever) in the evenings. I spend the day at the hospital and am excited to stay home (watch football, crochet, whatever) in the evenings. Really? That’s our biggest conflict this month?

Not bad, huh?

We are walking the same path. Side-by-side. We have the same goals and dreams for our family and our futures. We draw strength and encouragement from each other.

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*sometimes we have no flippin’ idea what the other person is saying.

This photo is from the inside of my very own snowglobe on Christmas Eve. We got 14 inches of snow in less than 12 hours.

My next two wishes are for Brandon to kick butt on his exam on Wednesday and for us to win the $1.22 million Powerball lotto today.

Please, please, please! I hope Santa isn’t off duty yet.

I just read Fish’s post about making a Christmas list to help out her loved ones. Brandon was similarly stumped this year since his brain cells are being spent on more important things like studying for the USMLE Step 1.

I haven’t made a list in a looong time. I thought about getting out a piece of paper and a pencil to write “Dear Santa,” but ended up going the old-fashioned email route in the end. I haven’t bought anything for myself or gone shopping in such a long time that it was actually a lot of fun. Imagining, day-dreaming, wishing, hoping. I didn’t make a list based on winning the current $122 million lotto jackpot. But I did find it easy enough to pick out a few things that I would buy for myself if I had a source of income and a plug in the ever-leaking tuition drain.

So, what things did I put on my list? Oh, a few warm woolly sweaters, a luxurious bathrobe and slippers, some stuff that smells good for girls, Italian charms for the bracelet I got for my birthday, a family favourite tile game, a game for the Wii, and the Washington Manual of Medical Therapeutics.

This morning, there are more presents under the tree than I think either of us expected. They are all wrapped in Amazon boxes and padded mailers and I think there’s one in a Wal-Mart bag. I was worried about Brandon’s making it on time and it arrived 2 days early! Hooray for the US Postal Service! I know he’s going to try to talk me into opening a few tonight. But I plan to stand firm(!) and wait for tomorrow morning. Or at least 12:01 AM.

You may be wondering what was on Brandon’s list. It was a short one. The only thing he really, really, really wants more than anything in the whole wide world is to pass his exam on December 30th. I wish more than anything that I could wrap that up with a big red bow. Or re-used Wal-Mart bag.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! After reaping the rewards of fighting holiday mall parking lots, may you enjoy the blessings that come with giving a few small, thoughtful gifts to friends and family.

And if you chose to abstain from the commercialism of this celebrated holiday, may you enjoy piles of good food and bad Christmas movies on TV!

Brandon is in Omaha for a wedding. I didn’t get to go what with it starting at 630pm on a Friday and being a 6+ hour drive from here and me rounding on patients in the hospital while Brandon was trying not to fall asleep behind the wheel.

It was weird to come home last night to an empty house. Being freshly married and still in that awesome head-over-heels spend-every-moment-together phase, Brandon and i enjoy doing pretty much everything together. Have I mentioned he’s my only friend down here?? So, sitting around last night deciding what to do and what to have for dinner and when to go to bed was sort of new. I almost felt like I was back in my Vancouver bachelor apartment days. If it wasn’t for the giant Great Dane trying to curl up in my lap every time I sat down, Maddy and I might have wondered if the last 2.5 years were just a dream…

In the end, my evening wasn’t very eventful. Due to a Christmas purchase on Amazon, I qualified for a free 12-month photo calendar from Shutterfly. I splurged $6.50 on shipping so 2010 can be filled with pictures of Maddy and Suh from 2009. I also spent 3 hours on a cross-stitch project trying to fill the last empty wedding present photo frame. Maddy glared at me most of the evening because I took up her half of our rather small couch. “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” was on TV. I kinda hate TV for anything other than sports and movies. Why are the commercials SO MUCH LOUDER than the program??

At 830pm I realized I hadn’t had any dinner yet. Brandon is great for reminding me when it’s a meal time and that I should eat. Even in his absence, he made sure I was well taken care of last night with some yummy leftovers in the fridge. I now know how those husbands feel when their wives leave those cute notes saying “Dinner is in the oven/fridge/etc for you, dear. Love you!” It’s one of the most awesomest feelings in the world.

By 9pm my eyes were criss-crossing. I put down my needle and curled up in bed. I am about halfway through “Drink, Play, F@#k” and it’s been a big ball of entertaining giggles so far. The first 12 chapters take place in Ireland: Disneyland for anyone looking to entertain a 3-month drinking binge. Alcoholism is a serious disease, but crap that book made me laugh. All of the good Irish stereotypes reminded me of Emmet at MUA.

By the time the author made it to the casino in Vegas, I was ready to turn out the lights. Brandon called around 10pm to say goodnight. He sounded exhausted, but I know his friends were really glad to have him there. The dogs took up 2/3rds of the bed and I drifted off to dreamland sort of laying diagonally with my knees pulled up. No matter how much room the dogs take, the bed always feels empty without Brandon there.

This morning, I slept in until 7am. Now that is something I haven’t done in a very long time. The last two hours weren’t really sleeping. Mostly just snuggling under the heavy warm duvet while the cold room air nipped my nose. There aren’t very many things more perfect in life than a warm bed in a cool room.

An hour later, I’ve made coffee and spent some time on the internet. Now I’m ready to vacuum, dust and clean the bathroom. Later, I plan to listen to an audiobook while adding a few feet of crochet to my stripey scarf.

Cleaning the bathroom reminds me of a brief conversation this social media husband-and-wife had a couple of weeks ago:

“Thanks for cleaning the toilet,” Brandon called. While in the middle of using it.

“Oh, you noticed?” I asked in return. I thought I cleaned it often enough that there shouldn’t be much of a difference between Before and After.

“Nah. But I read it on Twitter.”

Just got off the phone with Brandon. He is on the road! On his way home! I wonder if he’ll notice the toilet before or after he reads this…

I’m still on track to look like an idiot in every single rotation because I get nervous when put on the spot.

Double bonus points this month because I actually *like* internal medicine and the attending I’m working with is just short of genius* and I should probably try to score well if I’m thinking I might want to go into it someday. So, blanking on how lisinopril causes hyperkalemia in the middle of the ICU isn’t necessarily the best way to go. Blurting out completely wrong answers makes me shut-up gun-shy when I actually know the right ones. Lame.

Just in case you were wondering.

And today’s photo is a random picture of Suh sitting on Brandon. Something she likes to do whether he’s on the floor, our tiny couch or at his computer desk.

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*No, he doesn’t read this. No, I’m not sucking up.

5am – Get up. Brandon eats cereal in front of the TV and watches football highlights from last night’s heartbreaker while I check email.

530am – Maddy sits right next to my chair and Suh starts barking. Signs they are ready to go out in the morning cold. It’s 35F today.

630am – Brandon heads to work. 7-3pm at the Halfway House. I finish puttering around on the computer and start puttering around the house.

7-10am – Clean bathroom. Dust. Pull up very frozen flowers from front garden.

1030am – Shower. Let the dogs back in. More computer puttering looking for a Christmas present for Brandon… Something I can afford that he wants, but won’t buy for himself.

12pm – Check TV to see what games are on. Choose Titans at Colts. Make oatmeal for lunch. Add snickerdoodle cookies (from Wal-Mart bakery and totally awesome!) for dessert.

130pm – Mute TV. Nap. Cross-stitch.

315pm – Brandon comes home and warms up leftovers for lunch.

4pm – Do some study question exams online while Brandon works on MBA homework.

6pm – Quick-fix-fend-for-yourself dinner on one of Brandon’s breaks. Watch NFL highlights while eating.

7pm – Fall asleep on the couch while watching a movie on TV with Jennifer Connolly.

8pm – Turn off Christmas tree, brush teeth, go to bed.

12am – Brandon finally finishes his homework and comes to bed.

I think you can see why I like Sundays more than Brandon… Most weekends should involve more studying for me, but it’s December and every day off feels like I should be cozy on the couch, bathed in the glow of Christmas lights, drinking eggnog and humming carols. Can you believe it’s only 18 days until Christmas?!

i was just going to come here to tell you that i’m busy and don’t have time to write.

how annoying.

i may neglect email and bathing, but i make time for you.

it’s dark and rainy and thundering. which means Maddy is cozying up on the bathroom tile under the sink and i’m tired of getting up before dawn. i mentioned to Brandon this morning that we haven’t slept-in together in this house even once since we moved in. sad, no?

i am pleasantly surprised at how much i’m enjoying Internal Medicine. the patients are sick and it’s hard to keep track of 5 or 6 conditions and 20 or 30 medications in one person, but it’s a lot like solving a puzzle. i’m currently learning how to gather the pieces. my pockets are literally bulging and you should see the inside of my head. index cards are falling out of my ears.

Brandon is considering taking a job for a few days a week. i’ll let him talk more about it on his site, but suffice it to say, we are poor med students that like to spend money on expensive gas so we can drive around to Husker games and i can’t legally work in this country yet. plus, i’m sure he’ll enjoy getting out of the house and talking to someone other than our dogs. i’m actually pretty excited for him. yes, his Big Important Exam is still coming up and yes he’s still studying his little butt off, but the job he interviewed for yesterday sounds pretty cool and may actually relate to the kind of thing he wants to do long-term.

speaking of driving around! Husker games! and dogs! tomorrow we’re dropping the kids dogs off at the babysitter vet and skipping town to pick up a couple of friends in Dallas. then it’s on to Waco for the Nebraksa-Baylor game. i met a neurologist from Lincoln yesterday and, upon hearing i married into the Husker lifestyle, he said “i hear Bo says the entire team is getting the H1N1 shot, except the wide receivers. they can’t catch anything anyway.”

if i’m not posting from the road, i’ll be back sometime Sunday.

happy Halloween, kids! stay safe and stay spooky.

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photo: me not cutting my fingers off. taken by Brandon.