I knew that going to a Caribbean medical school would have its drawbacks. I knew I would have to work harder and smarter to get the crumbs fallen from slices of bread that are readily handed to my Canadian and American med school counterparts. I figured the stigma would be strongest while doing clinical rotations in the USA and was pleasantly surprised when I was welcomed with open arms by every attending I met along the way. Nobody has looked down on me or claimed I didn’t go to a “real” medical school. I’ve received nothing but genuine praise, sincere acclaim, and occasional surprise when rated on my performance in the hospital and clinic.

Now, for the first time, I’m actually embarrassed to say I’m an MUA student.

Also for the first time, I’m realizing that working harder and smarter may not be enough.

My recent application to do an elective clerkship rotation at an unnamed program in an unnamed state somewhere in the Midwest was dismissed straight away because of where I went to school. Even after submitting my CV and Personal Statement, the faculty committee elected to maintain their new blanket policy of not admitting MUA students into their program. While the program director was very polite and nice and I appreciated their honesty and candidness, my initial reaction was to be embarrassed. Of course I am disappointed — and that felt natural — but I was surprised at how embarrassed I felt.

How can they know I’m not good enough for their program because of where I went to school??

Upon further reflection, I’m not entirely disappointed at the way things turned out. The program is in a pretty remote area without a lot of other programs available for Brandon to choose from when he matches in 2012. During this residency application and interview process, I know that having certain doors close will be as important as others opening in determining the best place for us to end up next year.

Still. How can they know I’m not good enough for their program because of where I went to school??

The answer to that question makes me nervous as I prepare to submit my residency application to a variety of programs in a variety of states. How many other program directors and faculty committees will dismiss me straight-away without a second look because I went to MUA? How many places won’t even give me the chance to provide a second (or first!) impression?

I guess we have to believe that the Perfect Program (both for me and our family goals) will be looking to fill their program with students based on individual merit and personality, not stereotypical stigma based on poor performance by previous students.

I guess we have to believe that we’ll end up exactly where we’re supposed to be.

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photo: Brandon and I in our sparkling new short white coats, full of optimism on Nevis after completion of Basic Sciences.