I haven’t been sleeping very well this week. It feels like night before Christmas and the first day of school and an international trip all rolled into one.

I am nervous to go back to work. It’s been two months since I’ve set food in a hospital and just as long since I’ve studied any medicine. I’m pretty certain I’ve forgotten enough basics to make me look like an idiot during the inevitable questions that are sure to come quickly.

I am getting less nervous about taking Creighton to daycare. If he really is going to sleep as well as you all claim, then I regret not finding the money for daycare earlier. Last night was one of the most horrible nights we’ve had in a long time. He decided we didn’t need much more than 60 or 90 minute naps and I was almost thrilled when I realized it was time to get up and stay up. I was reminded that even though waking twice each night still seems like a pain at his age, it really is a blessing not to be taken for granted.

Today is my last full day at home. Creighton and I spent the morning playing and exploring cupboards. He is down for his morning nap while a thunderstorm rolls in and threatens to keep us away from the backyard pool.

Brandon stayed up late studying and is sleeping in a little, attempting to make a small dent in his chronic sleep deprivation. I am nervous for him this month as well. He is pushing through the last few weeks of studying before taking the written portion of the USMLE Step 2 at the end of July. I know he wants to do well, but I am nervous that too many things are competing for his time and energy. I know he’ll do his best. And that has always been more than enough in the past.

And so, it feels like May and June have been slow swells making their way toward shore. A big wave has been building and July is about to crash down all around us.

I know it’s inevitable that we will all get soaked. I just hope I don’t drown.